A Little Heart-to-Heart

"Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world."
~Marilyn Monroe

"I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake"
~Yael Naim, New Soul lyrics

I won't claim that I'm a poet, but I believe in posting things that mean something to me, and the following poem means something to me:

This is the story about a girl, who was struggling when she arrived in a foreign world.
At times she felt lonely and at times she felt blue, at times she felt very homesick too.
Life was so strange and so new and so different, it was difficult to retain her shaky confidence.
She was often at a loss as to what to say, at a loss as to how to behave.
And then she started to open up and share her worries, she learned the names of clothing and curries.
She said what she meant, and meant what she said, she got up on the right side of the bed.
She grew out her nails and painted them pink, she wrote a few verses in order to think.
She learned just because she kept it classy, didn't mean she couldn't be sassy.
She sang a song to herself each day, to remember the little moments that took her breath away.
She walked into work every morning with a smile, and left every night with a cheerful goodbye.
She decided her troubles weren't really so bad, there was always something for which she could be glad.
She learned she had met real friends, upon whom she could depend.
She learned it doesn't matter here or there, people are people everywhere.
She walked with a little more bounce in her stride, she believed kindness was more important than pride.
She knew she couldn't change the entire world with her heart, but she could change herself and that's a start.
She dared to dream, she dared to live, she dared to share, she dared to give.
She had a thousand million plans, goals that stretched far beyond her own wingspan.
Dreams for the future, dreams for the now, dreams in her thoughts, dreams she voiced aloud.
She knew that never is a kindness too little or small, to not be important at all.
She believed in many impossible things, she believed in the wonders that life can bring.
She knew that below the surface of books and looks, there was a girl who just came out of her nook.
And suddenly she knew a bit about herself, something that she couldn't find atop her bookshelf.
And that's a beautiful thing, you know, learning to let yourself go, grow, and glow.


It's amazing how much a place can change you. I feel so different from when I first arrived, it seems like a million years and yet just yesterday that I stepped off of the plane and onto unfamiliar soil. Often people ask me how I've liked Hyderabad, and I can't even begin to sum up my experiences in one sentence. The closest I can come to is, overall, it's been good. But how do I describe to people in just a few words the initial culture shock, mentally, physically, and emotionally, as well as the constant and ongoing language barriers, the cultural differences, the steep transportation learning curve, the complete absence of anything or anyone familiar, and sticking out like a flamingo in a snow storm whenever I step outside? Add to this homesickness and loneliness, difficult to resolve visa paperwork issues, and establishing new social connections, and you have the making of a real survival challenge. And yet, I am so glad to have come and experienced this, which has undoubtedly made me a stronger person. Talking to so many new people, living here, and experiencing a completely different culture has taught me that, on the inside, how similar people actually are everywhere. Once I began to adjust to vast cultural differences, and understand the culture and people better, I began to realize on a deeper level that everywhere people still have many of the same fears, hopes, dreams, goals, and most importantly that we are all human beings. And no racial, religious, or cultural differences should stand in the way of seeing each other as such. And you know what? I can be just as sarcastic here with my friends as my American friends, humor is also everywhere.

I think it's also important for me to note that, I hope I have shown that Americans are also real people. The behavior of celebrities and the scandals in their lives aren't how the majority of the population lives and behaves. How life is in American movies is also not exactly accurate as to what life is like in America, just like Bollywood films don't represent the lives of a 'typical' Indian, whatever that may be. We get such distorted images from the media about cultural differences of people around the world who are different from us, creating twisted stereotypes, either positive or negative, of foreign lands and peoples. This is so unfortunate and has created so many unjust biases and prejudices. No country is so perfect or so awful as the media will portray it as, India's not perfect, America's not perfect, nowhere is perfect. There is no existing utopian society, but I think if we take the time to realize that everywhere people are people, the world can start to become a better, more accepting place.

Life will certainly be much easier in many ways returning to America, but I will miss life in India and all the craziness and chaos, the excitement and new adventures. And then I will get to dive into the joys of portfolio revising and job searching. I don't really know where life will take me after this, but wherever my path leads, I know that I have a new sense of self, new foundation of confidence, and I am more ready to take on new challenges that will come my way. It is a very empowering feeling that long-term traveling gives, no longer a tourist but a traveler, learning how to live in a culture and way of life completely unfamiliar. It makes you see possibilities. And I hope to always continue experiencing life with a sense of adventure, appreciating the simple things, celebrating the small things, being thankful for the important things. I hope to continue to grow into more of the person that I really want to be, instead of the person that people expect me to be. To stand up for myself when I strongly believe in something, to stand up for others when they cannot stand up for themselves. And I hope I more often have the courage do what I strongly believe to be right rather than what is easy. It's important to really sit down and think about life, otherwise before you know it, life could be or be taking you somewhere that you don't really want to go. But the good news is, you don't have to stay there, you can change.

"It's never too late to be who you might have been." ~George Eliot

On a random note, I was learning a few more Hindi phrases, and words like "must" and "zabardust" which mean wonderful, when someone told me the word "jakaas" also means wonderful. Honestly, when I first heard it I did a double take, because it sounded a LOT like the American word "jackass," which I promise does not mean "wonderful" haha... I also learned this useful phrase, "Mene kuch nahi kia!" which means "I didn't do anything!" And if I really want to tell an auto driver to "Get lost," I could now say "Dafa ho jao!"

Last weekend I also saw my first movie in a theater, and I thought it was interesting that all movies in India will have an intermission, or an interval as I guess it's also called here. In America, our movie theaters never have intermissions, no matter how long the movie is, only if you go to a live theater performance will you have an intermission. Theaters here show movies in 3 languages: Telugu, Hindi, and English.

The most unfortunate part of my return? The weather...and this isn't even the worst of Minnesota winters. One last weather comparison for the heck of it.

"There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go."
~Tennessee Williams

Sixty Days

"I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then."
~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Before I came to India, I did my research. I read travel information online, went to a travel doctor, I watched a couple Indian movies, and I talked to anyone I knew who had been to India. But nothing I read, or saw, or heard second-hand can ever fully describe what I have experienced first-hand. Because there are intangible things that I have only been able to understand by being here, things that you can't possibly understand until you are in the situation. Nothing you learn beforehand can fully prepare you for the way your entire previous knowledge of life suddenly is flung out the window and your world is turned upside down. And then you realize that you have to view this world from upside down. It's like when a baby opens it's eyes for the first time, and at first there is so much that is new the baby doesn't really see anything at all, it is blinded by the light, but gradually it picks up more and more details, and the blinding factor wears away. This is how I feel adjusting has been, the blinding light of shock has slowly dimmed so that I can really see with new eyes this place I've been inhabiting the past two months.

When I first arrived in India, I remember being frightened to the core of my being, mostly worried about the many unknowns of this new place. What water is safe to drink? How will I get to work? What will I eat? What food is too spicy for me to eat yet that will just make me sick? What foods are even offered, I don't know the names or how they are eaten? How can I get a phone? What will I wear to work? How do the autos work? How do people learn streets when there are no street signs? What will be my new routine? etc.... My foreign experience consisted of Canada and the Bahamas, which, in my opinion, don't count. I've grown up in the Midwest where the people are "Minnesota Nice," and in the suburbs where keeping a finely manicured lawn is next to godliness and is mandatory to fit in with the neighbors (I have yet to see a lawn like that here even in the most posh areas). I remember everyone telling me I looked scared when I first arrived here and showed up for my first day of work, and I can't argue with that, it was impossible to hide the visible panic on my face as it hit me like a rock that I'm "not in Kansas anymore" (quote from the Wizard of Oz). And I remember the feeling of utter helplessness as I soon realized how very, very little I knew about the true reality of surviving in India, the land of chaos, where rules are made to be broken (such as when an auto driver just today took a "short-cut" going the wrong way on a one-way street to take me home).

One of the hardest aspects to face at times is a feeling of loneliness and homesickness when I am by myself. I have some great friends here, but still this can be hard to deal with at times. Sometimes I miss seeing familiar faces from America, and I miss American food, general cleanliness, being able to communicate with everyone without language barriers, being able to go virtually anywhere on my own without a second thought, and miss a general familiarity of life (although I'm not missing the snow). But I also know it's very natural to feel homesick in one way or another for anyone traveling for extended periods of time anywhere, and really to be expected. And then I know that there will be many things and people and experiences and food from India that I will surely miss when I go back to America, and I'm expecting to undergo some sort of reverse culture adaptation as well. And will I remember how to drive? On the right side of the road stopping at stop signs and stop lights??!

I have slowly begun to understand the chaos, though it can still be difficult as a born and raised rule follower, and the ever moving city better and it's constant flow of street traffic. India is sort of like the bloodstream of the human body. The red blood cells are constantly moving, flowing around each other in a sort of chaotic harmony. Sometimes there are issues when a blockage occurs, but for the most part, the cells, though crowded in the veins, keep flowing around each other. The trick is learning how to enter this bloodstream without causing a collision, seamlessly joining and moving and weaving in sync with the people and the traffic. Even crossing the street requires an agile weave around cars and mopeds (called bikes). I remember in elementary school learning how to jump rope. If there were two girls swinging the rope for you, it took great skill to merge into the swinging rope without getting tripped up, and jumping at exactly the right moment whenever the rope touched the ground. But once you learn the trick, that there was always a certain height the rope had to be at when you quickly jumped in, it became much easier. The main thing is to keep "Constant vigilance!" as Mad-Eye Moody would say (Harry Potter reference). I can't stress this enough for future travelers, take extreme caution on the streets, because people drive like maniacs, better safe than sorry.

I can also add, that someone mentioned I didn't include buttermilk in my list of foods I've tried, and I did forget about it, but I also really don't like buttermilk, probably one of the foods I dislike the most here. It might have something to do with the fact that the first time I tried it, I thought it was like regular cow's milk in America, and instead to my surprise it was so bitter and salty! Milk is also often served warm here if it is regular milk. Cold cereal and milk isn't common. 

Below are images of clothes that I wear to work or out and about. I feel a little weird posting this many pictures of me, but, people from back home want to see what kind of Indian clothes I'm wearing, so, here it is. I am loving my new wardrobe, but will have to be careful with what I buy or could have trouble packing for the way home....

Kurtie/Kurta and leggings. A Salwar Suit is similar, but the pants would be made of cloth instead of stretchy fabric (although I'm told you aren't really supposed to call them "pants" because they have a different name). 

 Patiala Suit (baggy pants are patiala, also called Punjabi Suit). I pieced this outfit together myself, I'm getting the hang of Indian dressing, I think, quite fun.  This is the absolute most comfortable and chic outfit I've worn so far, although leggings and kurtie is also very comfortable. Definitely going to be wearing this back home, along with the rest of the clothes I've bought here. The patiala remind me of Jasmine in Aladdin.

The scarf is called a dupatta. This is one of the "right" ways to wear it.

Because being an art student means an inability to take all normal photos. I think just for the heck of it I'll call this "Girl with a Pearl Earring Goes to India."

Original "Girl with a Pearl Earring" by Vermeer

Since jeans and a t-shirt are also very commonplace, I thought I would include a picture of typical Western Wear in India. For girls, skinny jeans and a t-shirt is common. Men wear Western wear over traditional wear more than women I think, either jeans and t-shirt or dress shirt and dress pants for work. Skinny jeans are much more practical than anything else because they don't drag on the ground, which is good because the streets are so dirty. They are also commonly worn with a kurtie/kurta top. Also, this is technically the "wrong" way to wear a scarf, because no women tie their scarfs, but for an unskilled dupatta wearer like me, I like it because it stays put better and doesn't fall off. I have also learned chappals are a type of sandal with a strap over the big toe, and sandals are called slippers.

It also occurred to me over the weekend that since all of the Indian languages have different alphabets and lettering systems, you would need a different kind of keyboard if you didn't know English. So I asked someone about it, and he said that they don't make computers with any of the Indian alphabets, so if you don't know English characters, you can't use a computer. The only option is to type something in another language using English characters, then use Google translate to translate the text to a different alphabet's characters. See how lucky native English speakers are? We don't have to learn another language just to use a computer.

I went with a friend to the Birla Mandir Temple on Sunday. It is a Hindu temple for the Lord Venkateshwara, but is named after the person who built the temple. Different statues of gods fill the temple, but unfortunately no cameras were allowed inside, so I couldn't take any close up shots of the temple itself. Before going in, it is necessary to check your shoes, mobile, and camera to enter the temple. It is a gorgeous building, made entirely of white marble, and extremely intricate and beautfiful hand carving of the stone on the facade, arches, ceilings, and on every surface of the building. Took something like 10 years to construct in the 20th century. Definitely a great place to go. The largest deity featured in the temple is Lord Venkateshwara, who people bow to as you proceed through the temple in a line. From the balcony of the temple, there is a wonderful view of Hyderabad and south side of the prominent lake Hussein Sagar. Around Hussein Sagar is the well-known Necklace Road, so named I believe because the lights around the lake form the shape of a necklace. Night is a good time to go because the temple is lit up and the weather is nice.

There are millions of gods in the Hindu religion, but there are a few that are much more common to pray to than others. Ganesh, Shiva, Venkateshwara were all featured here, and are more common. While walking through the temple, a long prayer was being read through the speakers in a rhythmic voice, which I was told was being read in Sanskrit. Sanskrit isn't actually spoken anymore, it's like Latin, so this kind of reminded me of how Catholic Mass used to be held only in Latin until the 1960s even though no one speaks the language. It was kind of funny because there was one wall with some scripture featuring a few different world religions, and my friend asked me if it was in English, and I just had to laugh because it was English from the 1600s, from the King James version of the Bible. "As ye doest..." etc, which I'm fairly certain a large majority of native English speakers don't understand, so a fairly reasonable question.

Front entrance of the Birla Temple (unfortunately hard to get a good shot of temple itself because of no camera rule to enter)

Full View of Birla Mandir Temple. What is lit up is the temple behind with a greenish tint.

Once again, thanks for reading.

"It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default." ~J.K. Rowling

Innopark's Anniversary Party Celebration

My team and I at the party.

So, on Friday Innopark celebrated their 7 year anniversary. Quite amazing actually, the company has grown from a few people to 200 since the inception. Everyone was invited to celebrate at News Cafe, a restaurant/pub/club in the Inorbit Mall. It was a good time. Starting off with a presentation from one of the founders; food, drinks, cake, socializing, music, pictures, and dancing followed. There was a theme for wearing Innopark's colors, so most were dressed in black, red, or white. I enjoyed the night out with my colleagues, they're pretty entertaining. I've gotten complements from co-workers on my India dressing, apparently I wear India clothes well! That seriously makes my day when I hear that. And I learned at the party that house lizards can lose their tails as a defensive mechanism, and then re-grow them (speaking of which had a couple of these guys on my wall last weekend). Really hoping I don't find tails in my room...

Many of my colleagues have told me that Hyderabad has really undergone quite a rapid change over the last 5-10 years. Many of the shopping malls have been built very recently, and the culture is becoming more Westernized. It seems that this has also had a dramatic impact on India's culture in the major cities. It's very normal for people to wear either traditional Indian dress or Western clothing. The rural areas I am told are still very different than urban. It is hard seeing the kind of poverty that some people live in, which I've never experienced before in America, and the trash on the streets. It's very common to see dogs, chickens, and cows feeding on a garbage dump area that I walk past on my way to work, and the smell is not so pleasant.

I'm attempting to try not to worry as much about things when they aren't going according to my plans, which can be difficult when things get more complicated than I think they should be, and yeah, it's not fun, it can really suck, but that's life. And when something doesn't go right in a foreign country, it's just that much more difficult to deal with because I'm not as knowledgeable about how to go about resolving an issue. But, I think it's making me a stronger person, and I'm learning I have some really awesome people here who will support me in whatever I'm going through.

I thought I would list a few common phrases that I hear all the time that I've gotten used to. So, here's my cliff notes version of Indian English mixed with Hindi:

1) "Cool." Used a lot like sounds good. Everything is cool.
2) "Good, good." Also, "acha," which means means good in Hindi.
3) "Sorry?" Said a lot when you need something repeated or you don't understand something.
4) "Theek Hai." Hindi for OK. Hear this all the time.
5) "Haan" and "Naheen." Yes and no in Hindi.
6) "Kyaa?" What?
7) Answering anything with a side to side bob of the head.

I also seriously think Indians speak more English slang than Americans do. And, though I keep mentioning Hindi, I should point out that there are many other languages people speak here besides. Telugu is very common, as the state language, but I know people in Hyderabad that speak other languages such as Urdu, Bangalore, Oriya, Marathi, and more that I can't remember. It's just that usually Hindi is the commonly used alternative language to English that I've heard in the office. On a random note, someone mentioned they were a Bong the other day, and then clarified that it meant they were a Bengali (a part of India), yeah, I didn't know what to say at first to that. If you're American you'll probably understand my confusion.

The following are the top questions I always get:
"Where are you from?" (People always wonder if it's the US or UK)
"How many people are in your family?" (4, in case anyone is wondering)
"How tall are you?" (a little over 5 feet 7 inches)

Last week we were sharing some jokes in the office, and I taught a couple famous American jokes. I'll mention one: Q: "What's black and white and read all over?" A: "A newspaper" (when telling the joke the confusion is that everyone will think "read" is the color "red." I also had to teach what a knock-knock joke was, because people thought all that was to it was "Knock-knock, who's there?", and that that's all the joke is! So, I felt it was my duty to set the record straight. Here's an example of a knock-knock joke:

Person A: "Knock-knock"
B: "Who's there?"
A: "Boo"
B: "Boo Who?"
A: "Don't cry, it's just a joke!"

Okay, kind of stupid, but anyway, you get the point. I still like them.

On another note, people here get upset with me when they ask me if I know certain American singers/movies/celebrities, etc, and I say I've never heard of them. They're like, "What? We need to educate you on your own culture!"

Thought another temperature comparison would be interesting, so I included both F and C temps for Hyderabad and St. Paul, Minnesota. It's already getting chilly in MN, and this is nothing yet! Hyderabad is still quite warm, hot summers but nice winters.

Well, that's about it for now.


"Rule number one is, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it's all small stuff." ~Robert Elliot